


One Step at a Time

by orphan_account



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Introspection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-05-31
Updated: 2005-05-31
Packaged: 2017-11-15 03:49:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/522811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This wasn't in his plan; rather, he didn't expect this to become part of his plan. His mission in this strange new world was introduce the Man Behind the Mask to at least one person. Duo fit the bill quite easily, as he wasn't hiding anything at the moment either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Step at a Time

"That's good! Well done, Heero!" The whole class broke into a massive round of applause as he stepped down away from the podium, though his disconsolate eyes gleamed with failure. His stomach felt like a jungle of knots as he strolled back to his seat next to Relena. Her clapping stopped as soon as he crashed into his seat. This performance nailed him an A+ for certain; he knew his teacher well. Too sympathetic, just like the rest.

 

Even as the next student took center stage, he still felt the hum of the microphone beneath his fingers as his voice projected out toward a crowd of hundreds. His head throbbed, his heart nearly imploded, and he could have sworn he tripped over a word or two. Others told him he looked rather placid when the floor was his, but looks were deceiving. A year's worth of practice didn't alleviate his stage fright, nor did it melt down that poker face of his. 

 

The war was over; he was tired of hiding.

 

He had successfully completed a class, nothing more. It never occurred to him why Duo thought school was superfluous, until now. Not even shooting down Libra caused the blood to flare in his head, or made thrumming noise in his ears to carry such a diligent beat. This was his weakness; Odin Lowe said nothing more than to do as his heart tells him. Words may have been cheap, but they were the only things the people surrounding him seemed to understand. 

 

His message wasn't conveyed that evening; mission failed. He took his diploma with a forced smile. The Mask was an uninvited guest, but tonight, it was there to stay.

 

\---

 

"Yo, Heero." Duo waved his hand in front of the other boy's face to grab his attention. The sun blazed and fried his face, but they continued on at a slow pace. The university was only a block or two away from where they were, but felt more like ten as they dragged along. Considering that it wasn't far, they decided to walk instead of take a bus, despite the chafing heat that embraced them without welcome. Duo had made a habit of peeling his sweaty bangs that caked over on his forehead every so often as they traveled around the deserted street. It was too hot to do anything, other than hang out at the beach, or sit in front of the air conditioner with a good book. However, today was the day of Heero's interview at the new university. 

 

Since the moment they'd left their place, Heero had an anxious air about him. His last year of school proved completely unsuccessful, giving him false results that he tossed in the can as soon as they arrived in the mail. The educational system proved weak, as they could not do a bloody thing to help strip him of the emotional barriers he formed during the war, back when that was a necessity. He was often too soft in those days; the life of the one walking next to him confirmed that. Now, he was proving much too hard in the war-free days. 

 

Duo stared at him hopefully and took a deep breath. The coastline was nearby, and the thick smell of salt was in the air. "What d'ya say we head off to the beach or something after this?" he asked, in attempt to make conversation. Heero was rather good about responding to others, so why he said nothing struck Duo as odd. 

 

Heero simply had his head trapped in the future.

 

It was an odd trait, reluctance about the future, that he'd only recently and quite accidentally developed. Living for the here and now had always been in his nature, but dwelling on the future came to him when he realized that it was going to take much more than an advanced public speaking class to tear down his walls. Doctor J. described war recovery as process that took one step at a time, though he didn't want those steps to continue being so short, like every little step he took toward his current destination. 

 

Life only lasted so long; he didn't need anymore regrets, and wasting time certainly counted as a regrettable thing.

 

"Hey, you know we just passed right by the university, right?" Duo gave his friend a curious look and jerked his head in the direction of the school. What stood in his way now? The proper future for normal people stood right before him, and his meeting started roughly two minutes ago, assuming the time on the clock tower was accurate. 

 

He had a decision to make.

 

\----

 

"That would have been more fun if we had our swim trunks," joked Duo as he draped his wet shirt over a stray wooden chair. Leave it to Heero Yuy to make random, last minute decisions. In spite of tossing away the opportunity of a lifetime, a satisfactory smile seemed to plant itself on Heero's face. 

 

"Duo... " Heero said in a slight whisper. It did seem like quite a waste to give up attending such a great university just to head straight for the beach, a decision he knew that Duo would be curious about. It was a hot day, they lived in a hot apartment, and the ocean cooled their baked skin nicely. They both glowed with healthy looking tans and their hair had stiffened from the salt. 

 

"I got the message." Duo placed his arm around Heero's shoulders and slid his dull nails up and down the other's shoulder. It wasn't a subject to be taken lightly. The Mask never escaped Duo either. He, too, was working at a normal life, step by step. "Why, though?"

 

A dreary sigh escaped him, and he answered simply, "It wasn't helping."

 

Duo nodded. "Yeah. It didn't help me much either."

 

\----

 

Heero lay dampened with sweat between the sheets and the air from the ceiling fan brushed across the moisture on his forehead. For the past hour, he wondered if this was the equivalent to sleeping inside a volcano. Pretty much every comfortable position he attempted failed miserably, and the incessant clicks of the fan wasn't aiding in his efforts to fall asleep. He contemplated taking another cold shower until he heard his door creak open, slowly at first, until Heero sat upright. 

 

No point in trying to be a sneak then.

 

"Thought you'd be asleep," Duo said, almost sounding like a bemused child who'd just got caught with his hand inside the cookie jar. 

 

"It appears your skills in stealth are getting a bit rusty." Heero smirked at the clear picture of his roommate being, or rather, acting deeply affronted. Duo'd lived happily with his dark-haired companion long enough to be able to distinguish the difference between Heero's jokes and his hard life facts. 

 

"Well, it certainly doesn't feel a damn bit cooler in here than it does in my room."

 

"Were you expecting it to?" Heero shifted uncomfortably in under his sheet.

 

"Hoping, more than expecting." Duo took a seat at the foot of Heero's bed, and planned to make himself comfortable. "Better to die of this heat wave from Hell with a friend, huh?"

 

In spite the fan's click-click-clicking and the current weather conditions, Duo still remained quite a congenial person, even with that morbid sense of humor. Heero laid back on his bed and closed his eyes. What had perhaps been one of the most uncomfortable nights he's suffered through in years suddenly felt all right. Loneliness was one of the top three words Doctor J. would associate him with when speaking of his "weapon" to the staff back at L1. That fueled his purpose for fighting, and soon became the one reason he had to live. He didn't want anyone to die, and he didn't want to be alone. The more he saved, the less lonely he would be. Once it was curtains to OZ and all the other organizations that turned the entire world and space into utter chaos, Heero had lost his purpose, and became more lonely than he could ever imagine. That was his first real regret, completely forgetting to plan the "if I do survive" part.

 

Where had he to turn? The world wasn't quite as welcoming as he imagined. Some people recognized him, most didn't. He was content to always fall under the "you look like that guy I saw on the news... " category. He received attention, without being heavily scrutinized. 

 

Finding Duo was no accident, something of which he realized during the night of graduation. Relena had openly admitted to purposely giving him the wrong directions to the green house on 21st. He was sent on a hunt to find a cherry tree for her back yard, and instead he found Duo. She thought that to be an incentive on his search for friends. Through it all, he realized that he did indeed find one, true friend.

 

He rose himself yet again; he felt like there were hot coals inside of his mattress all of a sudden. Of course, it was difficult to bare such heat, and with Duo's bare torso sprawled out on the foot of his bed, he felt his mind clog up with strange words and not-so-innocent thoughts. 

 

He forgot how to speak at the moment.

 

One year of classes. One year of advanced classes, yet he couldn’t seem to muster a single word to say to his own best friend. It was like being on stage all over again; the Mask has finally left the building. 

 

Duo looked slightly startled when their eyes met. He said nothing; the feelings were mutual.

 

"Why... " Heero cleared his throat and rubbed his head, hoping his second attempt to speak wouldn't come out in a squeak. "Why do we live together?"

 

The question had taken Duo slightly aback, though if he was even slightly confused, he hid it well. It was merely an unexpected question, nothing he couldn't handle. "Because we do."

 

"Is that the only answer?" He inched himself closer to the other, until he lay propped on his folded arms, face only inches away from Duo's.

 

"Do you want that to be the only answer?"

 

 _Is it really a matter of want?_ Heero thought to himself. He'd love to think there was something more between them than just being friends, or roomies. Relena chose Duo to cross paths with him on the cherry tree hunt. She could have easily chosen Quatre or Wufei; they lived closer. There was always something special about Duo, though  
. He was never quite as useless in battle as Heero often made him out to be. He needed something to retort with Duo's constant sputters of "you're anything but normal" and "Why don't you stop pretending to be human?" kept Heero on his toes more than anything. He couldn't pretend around Duo; there was nothing "normal" about the relationship they had, or about the lives they lived. 

 

It was never apparent to him that Relena knew how cutthroat he and Duo were to one another. A constant battle of the wits; who got in the last remark? Who was more "normal"? As far as being a "normal" boy in his late teens, he often felt that bickering with Duo brought that out of him. He could act his age around somebody.

 

Together, they were human. Together, they could toss their Masks into the wind.

 

Heero's face hovered above Duo's naturally, earning him undivided attention. Not even the annoying clicks from above were any match for Heero's eyes.

 

"No." That was his final answer.

 

Just as that invitation had been handed, Duo propped himself upright onto his shoulders, and kissed the other man with all his might. 

 

The brick that had formed in Heero's stomach was smashed to pieces once those firm lips pressed tightly to his own. It was curtains for the Mask, having taken this large step into these new crystal blue waters of hope. Duo pressed his body down to the sheets, and the hot coals in the mattress were put out. Physical discomfort was now a memory.

 

"Where do we go from here?"

 

"Wherever we want to go."

 

Duo had left the room and returned in a matter of minutes, with preparation in his hand. At least one of them had been planning farther ahead. This round definitely belonged to Duo.

 

"I think we've been ready to take this step for awhile now," whispered Duo as he ran his fingers across the hem of Heero's shorts. He wasn't quite sure if he should take them down yet, though the forming bulge looked most tempting. 

 

Heero didn't try to object to any of the moves being made. This wasn't in his plan; rather, he didn't expect this to become part of his plan. His mission in this strange new world was introduce the Man Behind the Mask to at least one person. Duo fit the bill quite easily, as he wasn't hiding anything at the moment either. Showing people he was unsure was foreign.

 

"Heero?"

 

Time to move along. "Touch me."

 

Affirmative, Duo's hand slid below the hem, fingers trailed along the stiff figure. It wasn't time to go crazy yet; the steps suddenly became rocky. One false move and either of them could fall face first into the pit of sharp rocks below them. Things became increasingly harder to do with the Masks in the closet. 

 

"Do what comes naturally," Relena whispered in place of the clicking fan above. Only Heero heard it; it was etched in his memory. Just before his turn on the podium, those four little words glided smoothly from her lips. It didn't ease the tremendous rock inside of his belly at the time, but the words never left his mind. 

 

He slid gingerly out of his shorts when Duo's pace increased. It was time they really started to get natural.

 

"No more foreplay." Heero handed Duo the condom he had set aside on the stand. "You need practice."

 

This time, Duo looked genuinely affronted. "Yeah, well.. "

 

Heero chuckled softly and pressed his lips to Duo's. "One step at a time, right?"

 

Duo answered with a nervous laugh. "Right."

 

He rolled on the condom right toward the base of his shaft and squeezed a glob of lubricant on his fingers. "How much of this stuff do you think you'll need?"

 

"I'm sure you'll figure it out."

 

Duo drilled his slick fingers into the puckered entrance of his partner, and a sudden spark of heat rushed through his veins. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt; not even the weather could compare. He scissored those eager digits around, trying to loosen out the muscle so his own girth would be able to slide in there. He wondered how sex with another man would work. All the thoughts and theories made his sexual preference more apparent in a matter of time. He had a feeling that Heero was no different. In the three years they lived together, the only two lady friends that ever stopped by were Relena and Hilde.

 

"More?"

 

"If you think it'll help."

 

Duo applied a second generous glob of lube, and found that digging his way through that tight passage had become much easier. He thought of sliding in another finger, but at the risk of hurting Heero, he decided against it. He wondered if taking Heero would hurt him any, but Heero didn't appear to be in a state of discomfort. This was perhaps the most personal and Mask free situation they've ever had, and they would take it hand-in-hand.

 

Duo pried Heero's thighs apart farther, until his shaft was perfectly parallel to Heero's anus. In one large dip, Duo lowered himself into Heero, pushing himself in as deep as the contracting muscles would allow. It was pure heaven from his end; for the first time that day, a much more soothing heat embraced him tightly, and sweat dripped down his face. He could taste salt on his lips.

 

"How is it?" Duo croaked out as the heat began to fog his mind and electrify his blood. Again, Heero showed no sign of discomfort. He wondered if the one below him was as lax as he appeared, but remembered that it took a lot to physically damage Heero Yuy. He wasn't sure if he could ever handle being on the bottom position.

 

"It's fine. I don't think you're doing anything wrong," Heero responded, as he lifted his lips to Duo's moist cheek. "There are no more wrong answers." 

 

The fiery breath that swam across Duo's cheek was tantalizing. "Deal."

 

He slid himself up and drove himself back down; Heero's eyes were locked on him. Every move, every step, every damn thing he did was now being watched, but that didn't matter. Wrong answers were shoved into the void along with the Masks, and with each push Duo made with his pelvis, misery went deeper into the void. Heero smiled. Duo smiled. Both shook with excitement; splotches of white dripped down Heero's belly, and the tip Duo's rubber hat swelled with his own essence. It was discarded into the nearest waste bin, and Heero wiped up his mess with a few tissues.

 

"So?" Duo prodded, as he plopped himself down next to his tired bed mate. 

 

"So, what?"

 

"What's the next step?" He almost thought he'd regret asking that. They'd already taken a leap over the moon, though J. and G. strictly advised against those kinds of moves. Half-baked actions lead to downfall, but somehow, this felt like an exception. They'd hidden on the sidelines for far too long, while the playing field called out to them. Duo wanted to know if they had made the goal, or if they'd only begun to play.

 

"Shower," was Heero's answer, though the amount of time it took for Heero to say that was enough to confirm that he did know what Duo meant. Not now, he said. Not until the practice round is over. And they showered in separate bathrooms.

 

One step at a time, and a leap across the crevice. Time to get comfortable with where they were; there was no turning back. Time to get used to having the Masks discarded. There was no such thing as a wrong answer.

 

Tomorrow, Heero would properly call off his enrollment to the university. The missing pieces had already been found.

 

[End]


End file.
